Who Do You Expect To Be When You Get There?
image by Jonny Gios via Unsplash
Hi friend,
We are officially entering the third month of the year and I’m curious how you’ve been filling your time. As we crawl towards the Spring equinox, navigate global upheaval and a pandemic transitioning towards endemic territory, how are you holding yourself in tenderness and accountability?
One of my closest friends, colleague and Co-Visionary Meaghan and I were recently in conversation when she said something that really hit home. Speaking about an upcoming writer’s retreat she was planning, she said quite casually “I don’t know… It’s like who do I expect to be when I get there?” That question immediately resonated because she asked it right when I was teetering on the edge of a burn out. I realized right then and there that I had expected my life here in Mexico to be drastically different than my life in Montreal, despite not having set any strong intentions for things to be different.
If you’re anything like me, sometimes we think we need a perfect set of conditions to begin the thing we’ve been avoiding or putting off, but who do we expect to be when we get those perfect conditions?
More specifically, who did you expect to be in 2022? And how are you feeling about it now?
Spring is often associated with renewal, but we sometimes forget that we have to shed the heavy layers of snow and ice and last year’s leaves before something new can grow. I’m finding that expectations, conditioning around productivity and worth (damn you, Capitalism!), and success-shame are my biggest layers to shed.
So, what are you shedding these days?
A note.
As the horrific invasion of Ukraine plays out in real time on our devices, I am sitting in the balance of heart break, helplessness, anger, and awareness of the role media plays in perpetuating the hierarchies of this world.
From the value we assign to white bodies versus black and brown bodies, to the way some folks use horrible events to excuse hateful sentiments towards an entire people, to the general anxiety that is created by constant violent images. I’m glad to see people speaking about what is happening in Ukraine, and I don’t believe it should be diminished. I do, however, think it’s important to acknowledge that the same level of violence is happening simultaneously around the world, such as in Gaza, Myanmar, Yemen, Syria, Somalia (to name a few) without any media attention.
There are lots of ways to show and send support to our fellow humans around the world facing the horrors of war and the climate crisis. You can learn more and take action here. For ways to help marginalized people in Ukraine, click here and here.
Also, you can learn more about the media bias here.
In the meantime, below are some items that have dawned on me*:
(*As a verb, dawn can mean "become clear" or “enter one's consciousness or emotions.” It’s in this spirit that I share with you some of the things that help me get clear in various ways. May it be the same for you, too.)
Do.
Media Deprivation
Awareness is something that is very important to me, but as the first generation of folks who are watching wars and global crises play out in real time in our pockets, I think conscious interaction with media is more important than ever. This post talks about the idea of a self-imposed period of media deprivation as a tool for questioning why we consume the media we do. I would add, as a way to integrate what we’ve taken in.
Read.
Re-Examining The Way I Spend Money
A recent newsletter from Steven Wakabayashi gave me a new way to think of financial auditing. Now, I am looking at the way I spend money through the lens of financial equity and community care. Have a read and let me know what you think!
Link appreciation: Well + Good and Mindful Moments.
Sending love,
Dawn xo
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